I Can't Stand the Nerve Pain Today

 

Recovering from a few things, today I made the decision that I'm gonna' call my Orthopedic surgeon and see if he'll schedule me again for the lumbar disc replacements.

I hope I don't have to go through the BS of authorizations again from the beginning. 

I chickened out of the ALIF surgery mid-August 2025. I don't want to do it but living with daily lumbar nerve compression is making me angry when it persists for hours and consecutive days. 

I'm over my pain med limit and need more. Damn. 

Fuck it!

Too pissed off to write.

CANCER RADIATION PAIN

 

    I'm finished with my 32 radiation treatments for my medullary thyroid cancer, stage 4, and the horrible neck skin pain is gone. But as I massage the Aquaphor ointment into my tight neck skin a few times a day, I realized that I only shared some photos of the radiation damage to a few family members.

The photos are a shocker, so I'll post a few here now. Today is a month after treatments ceased. 

If the pictures allow the reader to zoom in, the damage is rather interesting. When I was told about the need for treatment, I had no clue how painful the 7 weeks plus a few more weeks after would be. 

And try to get some strong pain medication...good friggin' luck!

I learned so much about the negative dominant atmosphere in pharmacies and the callousness that exists in the soulless pharmacists working in our world today! They are a disgrace to their job. Institutional and retail chain pharmacists are dominated by jerks.

I showed this neck in person twice in a pharmacy that had my doctor's order for a pain Rx, perfectly legal, necessary, and legitimate Rx, and got nothing! Just treatment like I was a criminal. 

Procedure: Oncologist electronically transmits 100 ml oxycodone liquid 5mg/teaspoon. Twenty doses. Not much for weeks of severe neck burns--and the radiation burns are INSIDE the esophagus too.

Go to chain pharmacy.

Stand in line for 10 minutes.

Get told the doctor has to verify the Rx so go away. There is no actual speaking to the prescriber, only emails and faxes which don't tend to get answered. 

Next day. Pharmacist again tells patient he's waiting for the doctor to call back. Sure.

I call doctor and can only leave a message with his nurse. Good luck with that.

A couple days later after a treatment, I catch the doctor and ask him if he will actually phone the pharmacist. Yes, he does.

Later that day at pharmacy. Told that doctor called but the Rx not ready.

Next day in pharmacy. Wait the ten minutes as usual and observe the generalized APATHY of the pharmacy workers. No, Rx still not ready. Insurance problem.

On and on until I give up. Even the gargling of viscous lidocaine for the throat pain, which is severe, is a holdup for a few days. 

Why?

HOW ABOUT PAIN DURING CANCER RADIATION?

 

I get so many weird conditions that it's really quite ridiculous!

I'm experiencing post-surgery cancer radiation at a very nice Scripps place in Vista, CA.

My course is 33 total, and I have done 16 treatments.

It hurts!  When the surgeon removes one's thyroid gland and several dozen lymph nodes in the general area of the neck, that's rough enough with the healing process.

But this burning and severe pain INSIDE the throat and esophagus is much worse than I anticipated. The external skin burn is tolerable with lots of Aquaphor ointment slabbed on a few times a day, along with ice packs.

I have ice packs and soft & flexible ice pads wrapped around my neck in front most of the day, tied on, and when I try to sleep at night. The ice helps.

A positive aspect of pain in different body areas is that it takes one's mind away from the lumbar & neck pain that is a mainstay of my life. 

Radiation victims--you have my empathy!

A BAD PAIN DAY

 

Today's pain is the same area and intensity as my December 5th post. Right side lumbar nerve spot. 

Do you get aggravated quicker by little things when in this state? I suppose you do. How could you not?

I won't say more because I'd regret it. 

I've tried gabapentin a few times over the years and am thinking about it again. Last time I brought it up with my doctor I was told it would be a problem with serotonin drugs. Not true but one better not argue with the doctor who controls the primary pain Rx.

Something will move a tiny bit and I'll get some relief. You know the deal.

The nerve from my thyroidectomy in the back of my neck has gone intermittent, thank goodness. I wrap my neck always with a folded up t-shirt for neck firmness or wear the hard neck brace but I think whatever hit that nerve during dissection of lymph nodes is healing, getting less inflamed. Something positive in the whole circus of my physical body, anyway.

A NEW STRIP OF NERVE PAIN IN MY NECK FOLLOWING A MAJOR SURGERY

 

It's been a while since I posted about chronic pain. My lumbar nerve pain continues unabated, temporary relief only from a prescription med, TENS unit, ice packs, braces/supports, NSAIDS, massager device.

Since my last post, I got diagnosed with thyroid medullary cancer, a bad type, and had surgery for a total thyroidectomy with dissection of a large neck area to remove lots of lymph nodes from ear to ear, and extending from the top of my sternum to under my chin.

The gravity was a surprise, and a six-hour surgery is an ass-kicker, I can state. 

Something good happened in surgery. The aggravating pain from a neck side muscle since my last neck fusion is GONE. The guy dissected lots of tissue and I think he released or cut whatever little muscle fibers were causing me daily muscle pain in my left neck side with extension to headache. GONE.

Thank you.

However, a nerve behind my right ear extending down about 4 inches vertically has been on fire since the surgery. Some nerve got injured, a nerve that attaches to my hairline and is tender as a baby's butt--in a bad way. This nerve strip hurts like the devil! Dammit.

Today--I'm adding to this post Jan 2, 2026--I went to the radiation oncologist to get my face/neck mask made to use for radiation treatments that begin in a week. I am troubled by the misery to come--pain, rashes, dysphagia, tissue damage in the area to be irradiated. No choice. 

Getting fed up!

CHRONIC NERVE PAIN

 

Jesus, this is a bad few days of nerve pain in one spot. Today's worse and I'm aggravated. Nerves between L-3 to L-4, and L4-L5. My original point of injury over 45 years ago. 

I have all the Rxs I'm allotted today on board and they're doing a whole lot of nothing. 

 The TENS unit is on high, ice packs, a brace, and I'm grouchy as heck.

The dog keeps giving me her sad eyes look, wanting me to walk her around outside a few blocks or wrestle with her tugging on her toys, but not today.

I'd like to take a big nail, and hammer it right into the pinched nerve in retaliation, but that's plain crazy. 

Eventually, some part in the area will shift a centimeter or so and the pressure will move to another lumbar spot. Seems like the flexeril sometimes loosens up a muscle, allowing a shift of position. A guy from New York City didn't have any business riding bulls for recreation at age 20 while stationed at Camp Pendleton. We humans; we do foolish things. Serves me right.

On another topic, I got into this old novel from the 1950s, written by Truman Capote: Breakfast at Tiffany's. The man's writing is stunningly great. His characters are so well-defined and lively; their conversations realistic; and I'm halfway through it on my second reading day. 

THANK YOU TO VA HOSPITAL, LA JOLLA, CA

 

As a service-connected disabled Navy vet, I received excellent medical treatment yesterday during my visit to the hospital. I fear for the impending death of the Affordable Care Act.

There are MANY fewer employees nowadays working at the VA due to trump's consolidation of the money supply, but those who still work there are at the top of their games. Polite, professional, on-time, genial, helpful, and I am grateful to them.

Millions of Americans are worrying today about how they will be able to afford health care when Republicans strip them of it. Quality, affordable health care is a human right..

.

WHAT? Another surgery done. The VA got me good and removed a bad cancer deal--total thyroidectomy last week. ADD in more pain!