I don't think it's the doctor...

 

To those readers who live with the invisible demon of pain, this is to you: Persevere.

Your repetitive routine attempts to mitigate your nerve pain with your ice packs, your TENS units, your supports, braces, and your 5 pillows that don't help much, but year after year you persist. GOOD! You haven't yielded yet to it. 

We have our daily nerve pain, our invisible 'steady state,' individual experiences that we endure. Your 'people' may very well think you are a whining, malingering, lazy waste of resources. We fellow dour waiting-room companions recognize it. You are among friends. 

I have had 4 good days. Less medicine. Gentle swims at the local beach. Some life in me!

Surgery in 3 weeks to replace 2 useless discs with titanium spacers is coming. I don't hope for pain elimination, but a reduction by half or more would be outstanding. 

The 'system' of monthly prescriptions and counting the hours between pills is an abomination for us. Long summer days mean more hours of pain while awake. Ask for assistance with breakthrough pain and you're suspect. Tread lightly. I don't think it's the doctor, but the system of fear that is institutional. 

I wish you strength.